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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?